Last night, and up to about an hour ago, I thought that maybe I might be finally free of this crippling psychological hurt that seems to govern my every action. The newest girl that I have decided to unconsciously lock on to seems to like me as well. I even asked her about it drunkenly last night, but neither of us were sure how to go about it. She seems to suffer from the same crippling fears that I do.

I would like it to be known that I have managed to press send on the message asking her out. I had hoped that we could perhaps go to lunch this week, but it's been a few hours now, an I seem to have been ignored.  I honestly have no idea whether or not this is a intentional action. It could quite easily be the case that she simply has not checked Facebook yet. Strangely enough, this information does not seem to help me in the slightest. All of my fears have begun to return, and I have once again needed to pour some of the excess emotion into this blog. Honestly, it does help to type this all out. The likelihood  of anyone I know ever finding this blog, or realizing who I am, is pretty unlikely.

I opened up though in person as well. That was a hell of a lot harder. My would-be conspirator has been through a lot herself in recent months, so I found that my fears and troubles seemed to tumble out when we broached the subject. Quite honestly, I have still not decided whether or not this is something I am happy with. The idea that there are people out there that know my deepest and innermost fears scares me more than I would like. It's as if my very being is being paraded out for them to see. The persona that I have meticulously weaved to conceal my true self is slipping, the World may know how much of a coward I am.

Only time will tell.
For your entertainment,
M